• Mateja Meded

Essay for the Münchner Kammerspiele, later it was published in the SAND magazine

PoC cunt-slime power against predatory capitalism

Or: the desire to penetrate potato synapses until they bleed

In which manifold ways is violence legitimised? How is hatred and ‘othering’ nurtured? How do people think and move beyond attack and defence? Is information the weapon of our time? Is humane security possible?

My name is Mateja Meded, and when I tell people my name, I am mostly asked where I’m from. If I’m in a good mood, I say: from my mother’s cunt. As a ghettolectual Azzlackin, a double B Balkan-Berlin, anti-social Kanakin, I only trust facts, not colonial-ideological wet dreams thought up by the ruling race who for thousands of years has defended and consolidated its power by defining borders. In our minds and in geography. You must do this and you mustn’t do that. You can set foot on this piece of land, but only if we can exploit you as cheap labour, but woe betide you if you don’t celebrate Christmas.

For those who don’t know what Christmas is, a brief digression: Christmas is the first #MeToo scandal passed down in written form. A rich guy with ego problems, who lives in the clouds, rapes a woman, probably after knocking her out, because Mary (that was the woman’s name) can’t remember how the baby got into her belly. She had the child, Jesus, who later became a top guru and hung out with a crowd who always went on about loving thy neighbour.

The hippies back then had better drugs than they do today. These days, if I take ayahuasca, I won’t end up preaching love: instead, my world just revolves around myself and I’ll end up wretchedly vomiting on my shoes. But back then people saw burning bushes and wrote literature, parables and fairy tales that still are relevant today. Has anyone read better storybooks than the Bible, the Koran or the Torah? No? I have to admit I haven’t either.

They’re too long. I’d rather watch the Terminator, James Bond, or other light-skinned men save humanity from evil.

Thank God for strong white straight men. Without Jesus, Terminator, James Bond or Boris Johnson, we’d probably all be dead already. But where was I? Oh, yes. What I say when someone asks me where I’m from. Because I’m not into patriarchal esotericism, I prefer to stick to the facts and say that I came from the origin of the world: a vagina.

We should all rely more on facts than ideologies, especially when we take a closer look at where these ideologies of European borders came from. They were determined by European royal families – the House of Bourbons, the Windsors, the Habsburgs, etc. – a phlegmatic, incestuous bunch. People whose brains resembled Gouda, because that’s what happens when family members exchange bodily fluids for generations and produce babies. What I mean by this is that these borders were made by borderline, spoiled, snotty professional sons.

But back to the question: ‘Where do you really come from? No, I mean really?’ Well, if I’m not in a good mood, I say: from my father’s asshole.

I can really recommend this phrase if the person asking has bad breath, or simply doesn’t understand what structural racism is.

We minorities need to protect ourselves and develop strategies to extricate ourselves gallantly from unpleasant situations. Otherwise the vampires will suck us dry. Of culture and energy. To all of you who are sitting there thinking vampires don’t exist, I have to disappoint you. They are everywhere. And they love minorities. Germany needs us. The AfD needs us to incite hatred and have a scapegoat. It’s too easy never to look for the fault in yourself, but in others. Without minorities, the AfD wouldn’t exist, because Germany wouldn’t exist either. We helped rebuild the country and are still doing so. The entire German middle class would collapse if the care workers all vanished from nursing homes, the nurses from hospitals, the (mostly Eastern Bloc) illegal cleaners took off, along with the illegal hookers or cheap labour in brothels. When was the last time you saw a German builder, taxi driver or cleaning lady?

German arts need us so that mediocre, white privileged directors finally have a topic they can sound off about. And so that they have a reason to apply for extra funding. We minorities mutate into exotic animals in boring zoos. But we mustn’t open our mouths if we’re exploited, stereotyped on stage or sold as a label. The only good migrant is a silent migrant, which is particularly true for women. Women who open their mouths are branded as difficult, arrogant or self-righteous. Witch burnings still take place: in the arts, women are burned by having their voices taken away if they publicly give their opinion. And the opinion of a PoC woman can be very unpleasant because she is at the bottom of the food chain – a place where vital questions are at stake, like how to survive.

Even the left needs us, so that they can fight for something against something. No matter why or where, the main thing is to move forward. We are their mascots: that’s the one thing they agree on. But their unity ends when it comes to Israeli-Palestine issues. Then paradise burns brightly in the leftlectual sky.

And the upper class needs us too because, as long as everyone is bashing someone else, they can jet around the world and distribute breast milk, which is neither vegan nor Fairtrade.

A system that subjugates other people, resources and animals to stay on top makes the successful human being mutate into a predator that needs its mummy’s teat until it is old enough to hunt for itself.

Predators’ brains are programmed to hunt prey to get energy through food intake. The predator is not interested in what its prey thinks. The prey is just an object needed by predator for its own survival.

Eat or be eaten. Like predators, humans’ eyes are positioned at the front – unlike animals of flight, whose eyes are positioned on the side of the head to help them see better while fleeing.

Human beings invented predatory capitalism for fear of losing their livelihoods. And white western patriarchal society has perfected the system of exploiting the small and the weak. It is so entrenched in our everyday life that we tend not to see it. Evil is not a monster that devours minorities. Evil is everyday racism that is so banal it’s hardly visible to privileged white people.

I grew up in Bavaria – oh, sorry, I mean Franconia, of course. My history or German teacher – I don’t remember who exactly as I have supressed many things from that period – always emphasised that Erlangen is in Franconia, not Bavaria. (He published his own book: for those who are interested, it was something about Franconia.) From then on, I realised that ethnicity is an important issue in the Free State of Bavaria, and in Germany in general. Here it is much more important if your ancestors were real Nazis in the 1930s, so that you count as a real German today.

Nowadays, if you look like a descendant of someone who was in the Hitler Youth, you are less likely to have your head shoved against the curb by the police for no reason, be spat on in the street, or be told to go back where you came from, etc.

A few years ago, I was walking in the city centre of Erlangen with a nearly two-metre tall, good-looking man, who happened to be a successful basketball player, and whose father was from Ghana. The police stopped us every few minutes.

When I watched just how precisely one policeman wiggled back the inserts into my friend’s sneakers after examining them thoroughly, taking all the time in the world to do so, right in the city centre’s pedestrian zone, I thought to myself: Wow. Germany has really made progress. We’re no longer the country of poets and thinkers, but a country of middle-class anal retentives. We obviously have enough money to hire police officers who are suffering from boredom and we’re terrified of people whose washing powder doesn’t smell like ours. We’re just terrified and paranoid in general, sometimes even of our own families, their expectations or of seeing the trauma of war in our mother’s eyes.

Many keep silent about it.

Especially women.

Maybe silence is part of the German DNA, just like watching Tatort. The word ‘German’ in Yugoslavian is ‘Njemac’ which means ‘deaf-mute’.

And Germany is called ‘Njemacka’, which means ‘the deaf-mute people’.

We often stay silent in Germany because we are afraid.

But every single one of us who stays silent about injustice always takes the side of the oppressors. And there is a lot of injustice here. Germany is a country where football players switch to another club for millions of euros and elderly care workers and nurses live just above the subsistence level and ruin their backs.

Germany is also a country where the subjects of ‘racism’ or ‘power structures in society’ aren’t taught in school.

Here it’s more important to learn the rules by heart than to question them.

And most importantly: there’s insurance. Preferably for everything. For your pet, legal aid, your life, for those obsessed with surveillance and borders.

The only question is: how safe is security. Does it save our lives or make us stagnate mentally? Because everything, all of a sudden – our entire lives and interactions with non-Germans – seem unsafe.

I wonder how Stone Age people were able to survive without German insurance? Life becomes easy when you divide the world into safe and unsafe.

But you can only rule if you divide. The old principle.

Excuse me for moaning so much: perhaps this is the first step towards my assimilation into Germany. I also want to highlight the positive aspects. If Germany were all bad, people wouldn’t risk paying with their lives to come here. I too fled here illegally, hidden under my grandmother’s skirt. Perhaps I would be dead now too without Germany, as are many other people at sea or the EU’s borders, protected by German weapons. Do the ruling classes re-enacting George Orwell’s Animal Farm in the Bayerischer Hof theatre discuss whether, in a few years’ time, the EU will have to erect memorials to the lost children, the drowned and the refugees abused at the EU’s borders? Do they think about at whom to aim the weapons they profit from, whose bullets never pierce their own faces or those of their families? The ruling race is at any rate considering how to secure power through weapons.

If empathy dies, then Europe, the mother of democracy, dies.

Then there will be no more room for the perspectives of minorities.

Then there will only be room for the opinion of the ruling masses.

To strengthen democracy, you have to show solidarity with minorities and give them spaces in which they can communicate their perspective.

Democracy means empathy.

Empathy means that everyone here in the room first looks for the predator in him- or herself that exploits other living beings and resources in order to lead a comfortable life and then slowly grows tame.

Discover the tiger in you.